{VERSE 1} D C Please leave all overcoats, canes and tophats F with the doorman. From that moment B you'll be by yourself and underdressed. A I'm wrecking this evening already and B loving every minute of it. C B A Ruining this banquet for the mildly inspiring end. D (hammer/palm mute) When you're in black slacks with accentuating off white C C B A pinstripes, whoa oh. Everything goes A G F D A cord ing to plan. D C I'm the new cancer, never looked better F B you can't stand it. B B And you say so under your breath A A you're reading lips "when did he get all confident?" *Haven't you heard that I'm the new cancer? *I've never looked better and you can't stand it. Transition: B B B B A A {X} {VERSE 2} *Next is a trip to the the ladies' room in vain and, *I bet you just can't keep up with, with fashionistas and *Tonight, tonight, you are, you are a whispering campaign *I bet to them your name is cheap, I bet to them you look like shhh... D C Talk to the mirror. Oh, choke back tears! B And keep tellin' yourself that: *"I'm a diva." D C Oh and the smokes in that cigarette box F B on the table they just so happened to be B A B B B {X} A laced with ni tro gly ce rin {Repeat: "I'm the new cancer"} {BRIDGE} (slow strum) D C F B Haven't you heard that I'm the new cancer B A D I've never looked better and you can't stand it. {OUTRO} D C And i know, and i know, it just doesn't feel like F B a night out with no one sizing you up. B A I've never been so surreptitious so of course D D I'll be distracted when I spike the punch.
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